SCANDALOUS SATURDAYS

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
                                                                                                      -Aristotle Onassis

                                                           

                Goodbye eighty plus degree weather and trips to the beach with your girls.  Sayonara to outdoor fun meeting and greeting various men and women.  Fall is here and as the men are saying let the “Cuffing” games began!!!  Ladies, let’s just be so excited about spending quality time, cooking meals, performing your best ever, for a companionship that’s going to end in an eight month period. Really??!!!

                “Cuffing” huh, sounds more like a term for imprisonment; instead of a term of endearment.  In all honesty, why would you think that anyone would enjoy being a seasonal jump-off? Establishing a connection; that really may not exist. Would you be able to leave the situation with no hard feelings?   However, one should keep in mind that although males become braggadocios about “cuffing”. We as females are entitled to have a “sponsor.”  To clarify by no means does having said sponsor(s) make a female a gold-digger, if we intentionally seduce and mind screw you than that is another issue entirely. The key factor at hand is to always keep the window for honesty open, so no misunderstandings occur in such a situation. Yes, you may enjoy being “the boss”; but being a boss comes with a high price.

                                                        “THE TRICKING CLAUSE”

TRICKING: (noun) a male splurging with no end, on a female counterpart for enjoyment without any ulterior motives.

DURATION: ALL FOUR SEASONS!!!!!                              

REQUIREMENTS:  Such trickster(s) must make a substantial amount of income per year.  We’re not talking six figures (however such income is not frowned upon) but do prioritize your tricking expenses.  This means being able to take care of your home as well as mine.  If you become an irresponsible trickster risking OVERDRAWN BANK ACCOUNTS, EVICTIONS, FORECLOUSERS, REPOS, or any matters of such DO NOT ATTEMPT, I REPEAT DO NOT ATTEMPT to cash in on your said investment(s)……….ME!!!!!!!!! 

TRICKING DUTIES: Such trickster(s) must be accommodating to all wants and needs.  This includes the following……

1.       Rent or mortgage paid every month, FIRST OF THE MONTH!!!!

2.       Car note and all maintenance must be paid on a consistent basis.

3.       HAIR DONE, NAILS DONE, EVERYTHING DID (NO IF’S, ANDS, OR MAYBES…after all my Swag must match yours)

4.       Occasional SHOPPING SPREE’S (at least once a month)

a.       High luxury stores only ex. Saks Fifth Ave, Bloomingdales, Bergdorf Goodman, Louis Vuitton, GUCCI, Prada, etc.

b.      “Just throw it in the bag” attitude when shopping is in place. (WE DON’T MEAN SHOPLIFFTING EITHER)

c.       Understand shopping sprees do include the little big things….JEWLERY, a girl’s BEST FRIEND.

5.         WINE&DINE at the finest eateries!!

DO NO’T’S OF TRICKING: The following is a list of ABSOLUTE DO NOT’S IN A TRICKING RELATIONSHIP.

1.       DO NOT mistake what we have as a “RELATIONSHIP”, this is just one party sponsoring the other, the other being a nonprofit organization. (You might not get back exactly what you’ve spent but consider yourself helping others….NO REFUNDS)

2.       DO NOT DROP BY WITHOUT PROPER NOTIFICATION!!! (this means pick up a telephone, send a text, tweet, direct message, send a note with a bird, message in a bottle)

3.       DO NOT include yourself with any family functions, holiday celebrations, job affairs or outings with the friends.  

4.       DO NOT give yourself ANY distinguishing title as we won’t either.

5.       DO NOT STATE THE FOLLOWING TERMS:

a.       I LOVE YOU (TOO EMOTIONAL)

b.      I NEED YOU (TOO DESPERATE)

c.       YOU’RE MY SOULMATE (TOO DEEP)

TERMS OF TERMINATION: IF BREAKING ANY OF THESE RULES YOUR CONTRACT WILL BE VOIDED AT ALL COSTS!!!!