Scandalous Saturday

Down Low: American Black men who have sex with other men, as well as with women, but who do not identify as gay or bisexual.

 

                                            
What Do You Do When The Other Woman... Is Another MAN???

We here at 1stClassLadies always want to keep our readers on their toes, and in good healthy fashion we bring awareness. At no point and time should you be a woman or man, blind to the possibilities of what may be considered illogical. With that said we'll jump head first...

  In life there is no greater heartbreak ;than finding out that your lover/ significant other is living a   double life. You start to question if everything you've shared with this person is just a fabrication. Being lied to is one thing, but imagine being a woman and finding out that the person you love is on the DL (Down Low). Not only have you been deceived but your health has been definitely put at risk. A total of fourteen percent of African American males, ages 15-29 who would not disclose their sexual orientation. Satatistics  have shown they have a higher prevalence of  HIV infection. And out of those 98% who didn't know of their HIV status compared to 75% of infected disclosers. 

These men are more likely to have also had female sex partners as well. What would be your next move? Could you pick yourself up and move on? For a single woman, of course this may be easy. But if this is your husband; and you've built a family with this man. What do you do? Hopefully, you would be just as strong!!! There is no specific way to tell off hand; if a man is engaging in broke back activities. If they were so obvious in their actions, they wouldn't be called men on the "Down Low". That's right my gems, the jewles you hold so dear, could be slapping on the back of someone else. No matter how masculine your man may seem. They are far from the hip swinging, fierce, "Bitch you better work"; images of flambloence we've become accustom to seeing. These men can't be upront with their women, because of difficulties with accepting being a gay man. Or wanting to divulge in the best of both worlds for the time being. While there is no contest to ones sexual prefrence; there is concern for the people involved sexually. There are many women paying the price for their partners alternative sex choices. Are You at risk??  The following red flags may be a serious indication!!

• No sexual intrest (with you)- If there is no valid reason for a sexual disconect with you and your partner.. (i.e a minute man or recovering sex-aholic, sexorexic) There may be some form of infidelitiy.
• Engaged Verbal communication with men- If your man, is constantly on a day to day basis enthralled with conversing passionately with other men on different topics. And can shows no interest in talking with you. Especially via telephone!!

                                                     




               

                                                

• Non-Verbal Communication- Hugging,touching, or looking at another man for too long. Especially if he does not show the same amount of enthusiasim and intimacy when phisically touching you.
• He is no longer attracted to you- sure after being with someone for a long period of time, a persons prefrence may change. However if you notice he is always complimenting another male on style of dress; or concerned with their physical apperance more than he does with you... Is a NO-NO!!

In retrospect if all else fails, simply ask if your love has slept with a man. Especially if he's served a long sentence in a correctional facitily!!! Don't be naieve to think that your photos, conjecials or letters were enough to hold him over. Most importantly practice safe sex and know your partners sexual status. If you don't have the validation and security of a STD and HIV/AIDS test. You shouldn't engage in uprotected sex!!!!!!