Thoughts For Thursday

"Sticks & Stones May Break My Bones.. 

                                                    

                                           But Words Destroy My Soul"

                                                                           -Rev. Ellen Baruza

                                     
                                                 "Those Who Can Do.. Those Who Can't Bully"
   A troubling recurrence in our society that isn't really discussed, affects the most important of citizens. Yes they aren't of legal age yet, however they have a voice none the less. When did we start to ignore the needs of our children? At what point did we become immune to seeing senseless acts of violence from our youth; dismissing the seriousness of the matter? There are numerous cases where the result of bullying ends in tragedy. How many Aquan Lewis', Nadin Khoury, Derrion Albert and Jamey Rodemeyer's will we come across? Many parents don't recognize the signs that their child may be viewed as pray. Especially with newer forms of bullying. (i.e cyber bullying, sexual prejudice)   


 

(The Derrion Albert Beating)
Sixteen year old Darrion Albert was a honor roll student on his way home. A brawl ensued on the streets of Chicago between two projects. While others fought he tried to get home, entangled in the may-lay. He tried to defend himself while being jumped and bludgeoned by a two by four as onlookers recorded. He met his untimely demise in September 2010                                  




(This is extremely violent.. by no means do we 1stClassLadies endorse this!! We just know words can't express the severity of the matter)* 


                                                                    
 
As a parent the first thing you think of; is how your responsible for molding and shaping one of the greatest gifts you could receive. You embrace it.. making a promise to you and God above to guard and guide your children in the right direction in order to become a level headed adult. You try to find them the best schools to attend for a guaranteed education, and once you're satisfied you breath a sigh of relief. Yet once they're out of your glance and grasp, you figure they are in a secure and safe environment. Assured if any conflicts  occur a teacher or staff member will call you if it's indeed a serious issue. Your child seems fine in your eyes, you haven't received a call. Yet as the year progresses you notice the following signs: (He or /She has)

• become withdrawn, start stammering, lack confidence 
• become distressed and anxious, stop eating
• attempt or threaten suicide
• cry themselves to sleep, have nightmares
• have their possessions go missing
• ask for money or start stealing (to pay the bully)
• continually 'lose' their pocket money
• refuse to talk about what's wrong
• have unexplained bruises, cuts, scratches
• begin to bully other children, siblings
• become aggressive and unreasonable                                            
• change their usual route
• not want you to go on the school bus
• beg you to drive them to school
• be unwilling to go to school (or be 'school phobic')
• feel ill in the mornings
• begin truanting
• begin doing poorly in their school work
• come home regularly with clothes or books destroyed
• starving (bully taking dinner money) 

However bullying has now started at such a young age that your child may being bullied as early as Pre-K. signs of bullying in toddlers include the following:

• Depression; apathy, irritability, agitation, insomnia, low frustration tolerance, inability to concentrate, bed-wetting and lack of appetite.
•  Fearfulness; reluctant to attend pre-school or play dates, crying, feigning illness.
• Questions about “What would happen if…” concern about what happens in jail, “What if I told you a secret,” and “If I don’t like John, do I have to play with him?”
•  Physical signs that seem suspicious; unexplained cuts, scrapes and bruises.  When asked, the child makes up a story that isn’t consistent with the injury.
•  Missing personal items; the child comes home without his/her lunch box, loss of small change, missing clothing, games, and toys.

•  Regressed behavior; acting younger than his/her age, speaking “baby talk,” clinging to parents, urinating or defecating in clothes, and wanting to eat baby food. 

                        

                                         The Nadin Khoury Story
                                                      Speak Up Against Bullying Pt.1
                                             via youtube

Upon recognizing the signs what should you do? Well in all honesty; stay level headed. Sit down and talk with your child, reassure him/her that although they may be afraid of being labeled a tattle tale, cry baby, or stool pigeon. It is better to tell you if someone has disrespected or violated them. Because the only way to get respect; is to demand it. Let them know that your job as a parent is to protect them, establish a open and honest relationship ensuring that your child will feel comfortable enough to come to you for anything. Once you've done this; call your child's school to request a meeting with your child's teacher and principle. To discuss your concerns, and enquirer if there has been any conflicts during classes or recess. Express your interest in your child's well being, and suggest meeting with the other parties guardians. If needed arrange reliable/safe transportation for you child. Ask a neighbor to watch out for them on the route home, or ask a fellow mom to car pool. If your child walks home; have them walk in a group of two or more. 


We as 1stClassLadies understand that every child is not a angel, yet we feel we need to take heed as mothers to something of substantial importance. Many times the issue lies deep within the upbringing, and personal issues of a child's household that may cause them to pick on others. As a parent sometimes we can be so blind as to how our actions; as well as decisions can effect our children. If you notice that your child:

• Becomes violent with others
• Gets into physical or verbal  fights with others
• Gets sent to the principal’s office or detention a lot
• Has extra money or new belongings that cannot be explained
• Is quick to blame others
• Will not accept responsibility for their actions
• Has friends who bully others
• Needs to win or be best at everything
• Often aggressive towards adults – including teachers or parents
• Marked need to control and dominate others and situations
• Boy bullies tend to be physically stronger than their peers
• Hot tempered, impulsive, easily frustrated
• Often test limits or break rules
• Good at talking their way out of difficult situations
• Show little sympathy toward others who are bullied

Step in immediately and put a stop to it; seek help for your child  (guidance counselor, or group therapy)before it gets to a uncontrollable level!!!

We dedicate this post to those who have lost a love one due to bullying, and those that are still enduring the struggle of being a child in a harsh environment. Please remember that whatever you endure you can get though. It will get better.. Do Not Give Up!! Your special and 1stClassLadies love you.